CHASING ADULTHOOD

   If you ask me I don’t really remember how I got here, its as if I woke up one day , looked in the mirror and saw the face of someone I don’t recognise. Some girl pretending to be a woman with disheveled long hair and striking asian eyes who will not give a single piece of memory  of what the years behind her  have done.Then like a splash of cold water it dawned on her, this was adulthood. This was the time and the person she has dreamed of all of her childhood, this was finally it. I was finally here and yes I am finally one among the millions of twenty somethings who has stumbled  upon adulthood and don’t really know what to do with it .I am one of those who let the everyday rush of real life slowly suck the life  out of me as it living was just going with the flow and was something that just needs to be done not something to be conquered ,to be won over to, to make worth having. So everyday I wake up, shower, get dressed, rush to work, and perform as if my hands and my brain was programmed to do the work I was suppose to do while my heart was off daydreaming of another life that I will never  ever get to wear.Every free day, every weekend I go out to see the world, Ive always wanted to see but it seems lacking of the colors Im suppose to bring to it.I didn’t realise I have used up childhood and puberty and will never get it back again, that I am left to spend adulthood how Ive always wanted but I am stuck and don’t really know what to do with it. That I am left with a pocketful of memories of passing faces, laughter of friends, love of family, inevitable heartbreaks all of which i have cherished and endured all of which makes up the blood that makes me keep breathing to live a life that I am living out of body. I am running out of time, I am rushing rushing everyday to something I don’t know, to a place where  I am already dwelling.I am an adult chasing adulthood. I can laugh at myself all day.

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