ETIQUETTE AROUND SINGLE WOMEN ( THIS WOMAN*) OVER 30

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1.“Are you still single?” and  “How are you?” are not the same questions, so be careful how you greet me at parties.

“Yes, I’m fine, I’ve moved, been promoted, finished a marathon, boxed for charity, recovered from a fracture since you last saw me, but yes, I am still single and therefore a pointless human being, I’m sorry, and how are you?

 

2. Do not ask me when I am getting married, over and over again. It’s like little children repeatedly asking  “Are we there yet?” on long car rides, its annoying and honestly, it sounds like finger nails on a chalkboard to me.

 

3.  Please do not set me up with your colleague, your cousin, your neighbour, your neighbour’s cousin’s colleague. And no, thank you, I don’t want to date your much older, widower friend with two kids, who is far from my type. I went to the supermarket the other day and I wondered if I should ask you put me on the “reduced to clear” items rack too, you might as well.

 

4. Do not tell me to make a profile on a dating app. You really think I haven’t come up with that idea myself?( Eye roll )

 

5. Do not suggest that I freeze my egg.I am aware I am running out of time.Please don’t rub it in. It’s my body, my ovaries, my follicles, my eggs, my genes, my legacy. Therefore, I choose what to do or NOT do about them.Everyone has got priorities.

 

6. Do not tell me that maybe I’m too muscular or sporty or  too petite or too childish that’s why I’m single. Everyone has a version of beautiful and mine is not subject to anyone’s approval. How dare you say I am not enough or  I’m too much to be loved?

 

7. Do not assume anything or spread rumours about my sexual preferences or my relationship status at any given point. Especially not to my face.Some people like to keep to themselves.

 

8. Please do not tell me that I will be fine and I will find someone soon because I can hear the pity in your voice and it is appalling. (Sigh) Talk to me about the weather instead, I will have opinions.

 

9. Do not ask me if I’m still hang up on my ex/s. Never underestimate my capacity to forget, block and move on from people, including those that assume too much about me. You cannot conclude that everything we are is damaged. Some women live their best lives after surviving the wrong men.

 

10.Please do not try to change my status.It is not your obligation. I will do it in my own time, with the right person, for my own reasons, or maybe I never will, but you are not the judge of whether I am happy or not. I know you care and I am grateful,but have you thought about the possibility that maybe I am just fine as I am?  So please be careful, be sensible, everyone is different.

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