MY 2015 LETTER TO PRINCE CHARMING

 

 

 

DEAR PRINCE CHARMING,

 

 

Where the hell are you?

 

I am about to give up, cut my hair and run to get out of the forest.

 

I’ve met and escaped so many wolves some of them I have slain with my bare hands but   none of them I have forgotten, how can I? I am now full of scars.

 

I am about to wake up, knowing I will never taste your kiss. I’ve extinguished too many dragons in my nightmares, in all of those dreams I   was alone.

 

I’ve lived some time next to the pond and I have kissed every single green and slimy frog there. You didn’t appear, my lips are now swollen and I’m disgusted with myself.

 

I’m taking my shoes off, I don’t think I’ll ever find the pair, I’ve lost it, I’ve lost my coat too, my favourite earrings, my new corset. I’ve had too much too drink at too many balls and I’ve been waking up in too many castles always running home on mornings. My wardrobe is now all over the kingdom.

 

I’m changing my diet, I’ve choked on too many apples , cried my heart out to so many dwarves, I’ve also thought about poisoning myself just to see if I can fool you, but I was told men run away from crazy girls so I’ve taught the dwarves the Heimlich manoeuvre so I can unchoke myself every time , but my dwarf friends think I’m crazy, they think I must be on drugs.

 

I’ve perfected my eyebrows and done my squats in front of the magic mirror, he now thinks I as vain as the evil queen.

 

I’ve given up my voice and waited every day at the seaside , I’ve sank too many ships, hoping to find you, that I can call myself a pirate. Yet I haven’t met you, what a shame.

 

Come to think of it, I must’ve met you, kissed you, took you home, made you coffee, cooked you breakfast, made your bed, made you laugh, made you think, but you didn’t recognise me, in this disguise you never will, who falls in love with witches?

 

My dear are you ever coming is your horse even alive? Can I count on you? Can I have my happy ever after?

 

You never answer. You probably blocked me, deleted my number. What is the point?

 

So, I’m cutting my hair and running out of the forest, getting out of the sea, down from the tower and building a kingdom that not you or any other man can bring down. I’m cutting my hair. I’ve gained an army and you are losing your next battle to me. I’m getting out of your book.I shall download another.IMG_4195 Waiting for you has ruined me. I don’t want your happy ever after … I want a kingdom. AND I’VE GIVEN UP ON YOURS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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