Five signs I’m nearing middle age

I was chatting  on the phone to my best friend when I came home from work this morning ,and she was on about where we were celebrating our birthdays. I told her I was chillin this year, she was living half a world away so she said we should go somewhere nice next year for our thirtieth and I was like who’s thirty?

Damn. I felt it  right there  like I was being dragged on to the last year of my twenties and I don’t have any idea what actually happened to all those years because frankly I still feel the same as when I was twelve like I have my whole life ahead of me and I can be anything and anyone,yet if I looked closer Ive already wasted a third of this  life and I have to think of something quick, soon.Ive seen the signs but Ive been ignoring them, pretending they didn’t apply to me but let me share some of the things that haunt me everyday making me realise I am nearing the so-called “middle age” which I use to think  would happen to me in the next century or so.Looks like I’m wrong.

1. Half of the friends I hang out with are married or with kids.

Well yeah at first you enjoy it, playing with the kids rather than going out makes for a refreshing weekend. You understand that things have to change  and that sooner or later these friends cannot go out with you anymore and you will have to find your own way,  but then you find yourself  alone and bored on some weekends and you imagine those young families all cosy and warm and you realise some cold weekend nights just  can’t be warmed up with white wine or a hot date.

 

2.My dads retired

Well we’ve reached that age when our parents need to retire after all those years of trying to help us stand up on our own two feet. They probably think we’re  all fine standing on our two feet. We know its a struggle even if we don’t tell them and the truth is its not how you are able to stand up on your own two feet for all the world to see and admire you for your independence,its  not about being able to stand up at all, you know that its about whether those feet actually know which direction to go.

 

3.The kids have grown up and Im not really immortal

Suddenly you realise you don’t know half the people you see on television. Suddenly  not all the coolest trends in fashion are appropriate for you to wear, suddenly the kids you use to see running around are already in relationships suddenly singing along with the latest pop record from the hottest new popstar sounds a bit trying hard.Suddenly there is a brand new revolution coming up and you seem to be part of the old one.Suddenly you feel left out.

 

4.My real dreams seems to be slipping into oblivion

 

You use to think you have your whole life to be that famous celebrity you’ve always secretly wished to be but then you soon realise its too late and  being a breakthrough someone isn’t gonna happen to you anymore. You were going invent Facebook but thats already happened  you were going to  be a hit on broadway or the west end but you’re now too old for that. Soon you realise the life you have now  might actually be the life you are going to live forever because you are running out of time for your dreams to actually happen because you’ve spent so much time waiting for the right time.

 

5. Im a sneeze away from giving up on the thought that there is true love.

 

Maybe they’re right there is  only Mr. Right now after all you’ve seen them all ,had your heart broken in so many ways.Wept, screamed, got mad, gone crazy over the so-called love but in the verge of middle age you find yourself surrounded but actually alone. Maybe there is security, companionship, lust, dependence but true love seems to be a rare thing and you begin to feel scared that maybe you were not lucky enough to be chosen to come across it in this lifetime and that middle age and the rest of your years might be spent alone laughing and crying at the memories, and wishing for a wonderful thing that is  never going happen.

 

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